Psychotherapist Matt Dempsey hosts a dinner party to talk to his non-White gay friends about their personal experiences with racism in the gay community. From social media to sexual preference, the conversation stays real and attempts to shed some light on the benefit for White people of confronting limited thinking and inherent racism.


  1. As a light-skin Latin man, I can say the racism and fetishizing comes from ALL directions. Yes, the media in the gay community (and I hate that term) is predominantly white (and jewish) so they portray their ideals of what the perfect gay man is. But what does it matter? The only people we should be worried about are the ones we are attracted to/sleeping with. Ignorance is just something we all have to deal with, and it's just not worth our time to obsess over it.

  2. 🙋🏼‍♂️ First sentence: “Why is this important for a gay white man to hear?” — already done. This tragic vanity project misses the mark completely. Idk how they’re still friends with him.

  3. Gay people know how to talk civilized.
    Imagine few straight guys talk about race on that same table.
    It will be bloodshed in 5 minutes.
    And I really don’t know for what reason i have to tell that im straight man.

  4. Have any of these queens ever left Weho?! There are plenty of countries where White Guys are NOT the preference. I've been to Japan and you will see Grindr profiles that explicitly state: "No white guys please" or "Asian only". Plenty of men in Spain will only date other Latino men. Not everyone is desperate for White Men to like them!
    This video in problematic in that it assumes that White Men are the benchmark of attractiveness…and that every other ethnicity is desperately trying to snare a White Man! Lots of black men love…other black men! And only black men! We are not all craving White Guys…like the host seems to think!

  5. Multiple family members have assumed that I don't find other black people attractive and that I idolise white people, partly because Africans tend to think stereotypically, in colonial terms and partly because we never have candid conversations about sexuality (what with me being LGBT and everything). As it happens I'm usually more physically attracted to people of colour, all things being equal and am helplessly contemptuous towards gay men of colour who only care for white men. I don't think there is much self respect in that. The other half of me feels that we cannot moralize people on who they are attracted to, as religious types are constantly doing this to LGBT persons, which we can all agree shows very poor judgement and a lack of common sense.

    While Matthew is attractive I'm much more drawn to Sachin who is hot af.

  6. I know this is three years maaaaad late lol…but naaa people like to cover racism with the word preference….saying no Blacks No Asians means you don't find the entire race attractive. Why? Where is that coming from? Do the work because it has its roots in racism and sterotypes. So you're telling me all 2 billion-plus Asian people are not attractive to you? C'mon give me a friggin break. Whenever I hear that crap from someone that is White in the community that friendship dies with that comment.

  7. Is it okay to say that I am attracted to Asian men or am I slighting others but saying that. Or is it okay to say that I am physically attracted to older men, daddy types, or am I considered to be discriminating against younger men. The way I see it is, if I state my known attractions up front, I not misleading anyone or hurting anyone – quite the opposite… I feel as though I am possibly avoiding hurt feelings down the road. And before someone states that my "not hurting anyone" analysis isn't true because I am quite possibly hurting myself by not allowing myself to be open to the possibility of this or that… to which I can say, I am 50 years old,, and I know what I am attracted to and what I am not attracted to… isn't that alright? If the expectation of some romantic involvement that I know isn't going to flourish is nipped in the bud, then doesn't it provide for the possibility of a true friendship to develop that is not confounded by hurt feelings and/or anger due to feelings of rejection.

  8. Love the conversation and perspective from your guest 👍😎❤️🌎 please continue your awesome vlog I enjoy it very much and it’s very eye opening 😳
    thanks for sharing 😊🌈

  9. I have had long term relationships with guys of different races over the years with few issues. My issue is not one of race but of class. I could be friends with men outside of my class but I could never have a relationship with one. I've tried and it doesn't work for me. I'm married to a Eurasion man who is lovely and I wouldn't have it any other way.

  10. I think alec mapa and wilson cruz touch on it. QPOC can and have been unindated with pro-white media but have to search for positive affirmations on themselves or other LGBTQ people of color. It is like if qpoc have been factored out then we have to be intentionally factored in.

  11. I live in California U.S. the most diverse part of the continent and being a 28 year old gay guy of color I have seen racism and ageism on online dating apps. When it comes to me, so I have put in the bio of my profile and always tell guys online that "my type is based on personality not physicality. No arrogant, judgement and shallow guys" believe me or not so far I have been lucky enough to have dates with guys older than me, younger than me and around my age, I have been on dates with guys of all colors black, white, Hispanic, Asian, native American and middle eastern. I am not sure about the other guys with whom I go on dates but demographics and looks of guys are non of my concern always.

  12. I don't agree. Having a preference does not make you RACIST. WE all have our likes and dislikes. The same as a guy that weighs 185 pounds vs. a guy that weighs 320. You just don't want to date someone obese. It's just NOT what you are into. I'm gay, I'm not going to date a woman. It doesn't make me sexist.

  13. This needs to expand to an hour, ten minutes wasn’t enough to cover a really big issue among gay men..
    Mathew thank you bringing this topic up, but it wasn’t addressed thoroughly; racism among people of color with EACH OTHER for example. There are so many Asians out there who will date only white guys but with each other or any other race. Some of them, once they discover I’m Filipino not Latino, they lose interest.
    And I was gonna say something about gay guys and ageism but that’s a different topic… hey Matt, what’s your say about ageism?
    Thank you!

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