Trans Man Loves Sex With Gay Men: I spoke to my gay trans guy friend Sean about his experiences having sex with and dating cisgender gay men. What he told me was a BIG surprise!

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  1. Gay trans man here! I came out as trans 9 years ago, been on testosterone for 6 years, had top surgery 4 years ago, no bottom surgery as of yet. Will get a hysterectomy in terms of that, but likely not any external work. Cause with dating men I'm gonna have to worry about pregnancies possibly happening, which I'd rather not! I've only ever dated men, all but one of them cis.

    And I have to agree with Sean: no troubles finding dates. Guys do line up to get with me! I'm on two Swedish hook-up sites, one is specifically for all sorts of LGBT people and the other is for anyone who wants to use it, but the majority of people there are men looking for other men. As soon as I log in on my accounts there I'm drowned in messages from guys wanting me. I never before knew how difficult it is to try to hold up 5-6 different conversations at once!

    I'm usually up for it, like meeting up and having sex, as long as they don't seem dangerous or too crazy and we at least want roughly the same thing, and travel distance isn't too far. I enjoy anonymous meet-ups, but sometimes I get to know what they look like first. Most of the anoymous ones are really just worried about homophobic neighbours/friends/family and they're average, fine guys. Not creeps at all. One of them was even a total hottie.

    And yes, most of the guys who are into me are bi as well, but my current friend with benefits is a gay cis man in his late 60's and well I can't deny that's very affirming for me. He told me this after our first time together in bed: "I'm not into women, but I'm into you" and it really warmed me. I know he used to be married to a woman, like over 20 years ago. I do like and prefer older men, but really I don't care much about their age, as long as they're legal. I just turned 29 myself.

    I do both anal and vaginal, so I kinda know why gay/bi guys get a little extra thrilled over me: anal is messy and complicated, while vaginal usually is neither. Simply put, that bonus hole is a lot easier and neater to use for sex if it exists and both are into it, strictly practically. As for me, I can never decide which I like the best, so I usually let my partners choose. Like, surprise me or something. No I don't have a prostate, but I can get my G-spot stimulated through either door.

    I don't handle long term relationships well though, but tend to switch between monogamous relationships and then sleep around when I'm single. But yeah, I agree with Sean, finding men interested in me as a gay trans man is so easy. I also state on my hook-up profiles that I'm trans ftm, add in my bio a bit more clarifying info about that, and have nudes of myself in my gallery of pics as well. When I added those pics… it made me so popular, I can't take the heat! But really though, no I don't mind having such pics of myself available for anyone to see and spread around wherever online. I aspire to become a sex worker and make that into my career, and I'm very confident about that sort of thing, or at worst, I shrug about it.

    I don't think I'm very typical for a trans guy, gay or not. Like I think I might be a little overly sexual and more confident than can be expected of anyone. But I've noticed that in gay male relations, it's quite common for it to start out as only sexual and then develope into something more/deeper if you're lucky; while in straight relations (as was my pre-transition experience) it's the other way around. That's my pro-tip to any other gay/bi trans guys looking to find a cis gay boyfriend, who had enough patience to read this far! The gay world does put different standards on me, but I'm not complaining!

  2. Maia, As usual very fascinating 🙂 Its interesting to hear about how things are for our Trans Brothers on the other side of the street. I would love to hear more from, Sean, and any of his friends. The stereotype that Ive heard in the past was, Trans Boys pass on the streets. But Trans Girls pass between the sheets,,.

  3. Cool interview, Melody…I don't know what it is about FL that seems to be a little more "open" but here in NWMS, near MEMTN. this isn't the case. Last summer I was on Grindr and a "Grindr cop" told me I was too feminine to be on Grindr and that I needed to get the hell off Grindr. I put on my profile that I was m2f and I was still anatomically male down below; this didn't matter. I DX'd my profile and I haven't been on any kind of dating site (mobile or PC) at all for over 6 months ( especially since CraigsList turned off it's personals due to the new Federal Law to stop human trafficking. ) For all intent and purpose, I feel like I am "dead" at 49 almost 50. I'm just a ghost, merely existing, work, sleep, pay my bills, repeat…

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